Wacky Critters
Funny Comics Jokes and Quotes
May the Wackiness be with you....

Jokes and Riddles

 
loch ness animal cartoon

Jokes and Riddles

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

Polaroids.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.

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What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?

Quatro sinko.

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What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A pool table.

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Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

They're trying to get away from the noise.

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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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Where do you find a no legged dog?

Right where you left him.

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Q. what do ducks eat?

A. quackers

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.



Jokes and Riddles

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.

What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.



Jokes and Riddles

What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What kind of coat can be put on only when wet?

A coat of paint!

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Violet, indigo, blue and green, yellow, orange and red; these are the colors you have seen after the storm has fled.

What am I?

A Rainbow.

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What time is it when you have to go the dentist?

Tooth Hurty!

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What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

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What is even smarter than a talking bird?

A Spelling Bee!

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Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!



Jokes and Riddles

Why are there gates around graveyards?

Because everybody is DYING to get in!

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Which is faster: Hot or Cold?

Hot, 'cause you can catch a cold!

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Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?

He was stuffed!

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Which cat would you never play poker with?

A Cheetah!

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was sitting on the deck!

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When a duck has no money, what does it tell the waiter?

"Put it on my bill!"

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What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing. It just waved!

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Why didn't the third grader go the pirate movie?

Because it was rated "ARRR"!

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Why was the broom late for work?

Because it over-swept!

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick!



Jokes and Riddles

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley!

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What do you get if you mix a car, a fly, and a dog?

A flying carpet!

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What is a cannibal's favourite game?

Swallow the Leader!

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Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

Because he was out standing in his field!

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Why doesn't Dracula have friends?

'Cause he's a pain in the neck!

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When is a door not a door?

When it's aJAR!

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Why did the bubblegum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!

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What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?

Close the door, I'm dressing!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

'Cause he didn't have the guts!


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